Divorced and thinking of dating? Here are some tips
Added: (Fri Oct 07 2022)
Pressbox (Press Release) -
Are you divorced and jumping back in the dating pool? Before taking a dive, let matchmakerdidi tell you the important things to consider.
Have I healed?
First things first, ask yourself if you have healed. you might be unaware of the trauma divorced brings or how it may have affected the way you see dating so you may think that you do not need healing. I’ve seen people sign up on the platform and waste their money because they have not healed. Everybody that has been through any kind of relationship break up needs some sort of healing, especially if it is a divorce because you went in thinking it was a relationship that would last a lifetime but it didn’t end up lasting a lifetime, this itself could be traumatizing. if you don’t heal before going back into the dating pool you tend to not have good results because you find yourself looking for red flags, judging people according to your hurt because you are unaware that it has affected how you date and carrying negative baggage on every date.
Remove unrealistic expectations.
Secondly remove unrealistic expectations as those lead to disappointment. Do not expect magic or jazz for an overnight success do not expect to meet somebody today and that will lead to a proposal next week and you start a brand new family in a month some things take time and this is one of those things explored the dating field swimming the pool elite to get your tools wet get your hair wet and enjoy the process basically enjoy your journey till you get to that final destination
Remember what it was like to date.
Thirdly remind yourself of what it was like to date. You may not have dated in a while so you have forgotten what it was like to actually date not just go on a date. I have seen people on the platform go on dates and actually make it seem like an interview where they’re asking questions. Remember what it was like when you dated in your 20s, it was a little bit lighter and softer. you were probably not treating it like an interview session because you didn’t have a lot of negative baggage from relationships like you possibly do now. Learn to get to know somebody without the pressure so basically, be light and take it slow.
Be realistic about your level of attractiveness.
The fourth one is to be realistic about your level of attractiveness. this is very important because our level of attractiveness in our minds is very different from the level of attractiveness as others presume. In our minds, we maybe a 10 and to the rest of the world, we may be an 8. Yes, what you think of yourself is the ultimate and that is what matters but you have to be realistic about what others likely see you as because it helps you to be more realistic about your goals. On the platform, I have seen people that the world would generally look at as a 3 go for only 10’s and believe that they deserve nothing less than a 10 and this is based just on the physical. Those 10’s then usually do not want to be with a 3, which ends up making the 3 feel disappointed. The same way you can go to a beauty pageant and everybody can agree that this girl is so pretty, someone else can come into a room and everyone gives themselves glances because that person is generally seen as not good looking. It’s not a perfect world and people cannot see your insides before they see your outsides so we are sometimes judged on the physical. There is definitely a general scale by which everybody is judged and your scale of judgment for yourself is different from the scale of judgment in the general sense, so it helps to be realistic about what your level of attractiveness is for yourself and also what the world might perceive.
Your Ex has no place in your dating life.
The fifth one is to exclude thoughts about your ex when it comes to dating. This doesn’t mean forget about your ex totally, it just means that don’t compare your eggs to your dates in anyway and also avoid talking about your ex on dates. An example of comparing your ex to date may be in the case of, if you had an ex that was very friend-happy and loves hanging out with his friends or her friends, getting advice from his friends or her friends and suddenly your date says I’m spending the weekend hanging out with my friends then automatically your brain compares that person to your ex and actually thinks this person Is likely to be the same as your ex and so you immediately check out mentally. This shouldn’t be the case as you might miss out on some great people. Do not mention your ex at dates because it could go either way, it could be a good thing but majority of the time, it is not just a good idea as you may intend to talk about it casually but you might end up getting emotional about it. it’s best to clear off the topic of the ex for now especially on the first date.
Hopefully these few tips help someone that is divorced and wants to sign up on the platform or other platforms. I have written these tips based on actual things that have happened on the platform and actual reactions gotten from people on the platform.
The platform Matchmakerdidi (Lagosmatchmaker) was created as a need for privacy in this dating age. It is a privacy focused matchmaking platform for singles over 25years to meet like minded individuals.
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